Last month I was asked to give a talk in church based on a
General Conference Address by Sister Cheryl A Esplin. I've had a few friends and family members ask for the talk, so I thought I would post it on here and throw in the respective links for references to make the reading a little easier. Enjoy!
**I know there are many people who read this blog who do not share our faith, or prefer to not have a faith at all. Whatever the case may be, I hope you are able to read this with an open mind and a respect for what we believe and strive to live in our daily lives. Thanks!
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In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord instructs parents to
teach their children to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ,
baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost. It reads:
“…inasmuch as parents have children
in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to
understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living
God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the
hands when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.” (D&C68:25)
As Sister Cheryl Esplin emphasized in
her General Conferencetalk in April 2012, it is important to note that we are not simply asked to
teach the doctrine but to teach our children to
understand the doctrine. The difference could be explained as
the difference between our children simply knowing who Christ is and
understanding who
Christ
is and what that means for them as individuals.
It is an important calling as parents to teach our children
to understand; President Boyd K Packer has emphasized that “Husbands and wives
should understand that their first calling – from which they will never be
released – is to one another and then to their children.” (
‘And a Little Child Shall Lead Them’ Apr. GeneralConference 2012). With such a large importance and emphasis placed on
this eternal duty of teaching our children it becomes extremely important that
we heed Elder Ballard’s advice to “…prioritize [and] [p]ut everything [we] do
outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside the
home.”
(‘That the Lost May be Found’ AprilGeneral Conference 2012). Are we making our families and the spiritual
education of our children a priority in our homes? Are we holding family home
evening weekly? Do we pray together daily? Read the scriptures together? Do we
make the most of spontaneous daily moments in which gospel principles can be
rooted in their soul? Or are we doing the minimum and expecting our children to
figure out the rest or for someone else to teach them?
Teaching for understanding takes determined and consistent
effort. We must plan and prepare for it. Perhaps most importantly, we must also
be an example of living those principles that we are teaching. What better
place is there for our children to learn and understand the principles of the
gospel than through the light that shines within us as we live those very
principles that we discuss with them in Family Home Evening or read in the
scriptures? Children are extremely attentive, and our actions will always speak
louder than our words.
We must also continuously seek knowledge for ourselves. We
must internalize and practice the principles we learn. The more consistent and
devoted we are to nourishing ourselves spiritually, the easier it will be for
our children to come to an understanding of the principles that we have
internalized. Spontaneous and valuable teaching opportunities will come more
frequently and be deeper in meaning as we are more spiritually prepared to
recognize them and utilize them to their greatest capacity.
The daily tasks that we as parents must carry out may not
always feel like the life changing, spiritual building blocks that we prepare
ourselves for. Everyday tasks such as laundry, cooking, going to work or
helping with homework can sometimes seem repetitive and far too simple to bring
about great testimonies. In times such as these we must hold fast to our vision
of our children, our families and ourselves. In the book of Proverbs we learn
that “where there is no vision the people perish” (
proverbs29:18). Do we have a vision of who our children are and what they are
capable of becoming?
It was the artist Michelangelo, known for carving the famous
statue ‘David’ who said,
“In every block of
marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect
in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison
the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.” Our
children are similar to these blocks of marbles, each day we, as parents and
teachers, are chiseling away the rough walls to reveal the incredible person
that they have the potential to be. Heavenly Father sees our children this way,
and it is up to us to lay hold upon that same vision so that our small daily
chiseling is not mundane and repetitive but is instead, purposeful. And let us
not forget the teachings of Alma who said, that “by small and simple things are
great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6)
While we are chiseling, teaching and exemplifying the gospel we must
also remember to be aware of when it is time to let our children exercise their
knowledge and agency independently. Sister Esplin explained it simply when she
said that “as children learn and act upon what they learn, their understanding
is expanded, which leads to more learning, more action, and an even greater and
more enduring understanding. We can know our children are beginning to
understand the doctrine when we see it revealed in their attitudes and actions
without external threats or rewards.” If we are unsure about which decisions to
let our children make on their own, we can always approach the Lord in prayer
for confirmation.
While the role of teaching
our children to understand falls primarily on the parents of the children, the
children’s understanding can be greatly enriched and deepened by church leaders
and teachers, home and visiting teachers, family friends, neighbors, or even
people they may only ever see in passing. I am very grateful for the consistent
examples and teachings of older brothers, home teachers and bishops who
helped me to understand and appreciate the blessings of the priesthood. It is
due in large part to their examples that I gained a deep appreciation and
understanding for the priesthood and subsequently, temple marriage, which led
to my decision to marry in the temple which has blessed my life abundantly. I
will forever be grateful to them.
As we commit our time and efforts to the duty of teaching
our children to understand, our homes and families will be strengthened. In
April General Conference,
Elder Ballard emphasized that the “most important
cause of our lifetime is our families.” He then shared that “If we will devote
ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and
will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all
peoples of the earth.” I have personally felt the joy and blessings that have
come from prioritizing my family and the teaching of my children over the pull
of worldly endeavors. I know it is helping us as a family to come to know
Christ in a deeper and more personal way as we strive to follow him and come
closer to God.
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