I am a Triangle

Oh man. I knew us coming back to Canada was going to be an adjustment. Not just for the kiddos, who had never lived in Canada, but also for us who had been gone for 5+ years (Jason being gone longer of the 2 of us).

I thought we were saving ourselves a bit of shock by coming to Montreal - a french speaking and quite diverse city. But if it did save us any shock, it wasn't enough.

Shortly after arriving, around the time of the meltdown actually, a friend who is very accustomed to moving around the world with and without children sent me this article about repatriating and I devoured it with wide eyes as pretty much every word rang true with me. I'm different since I last lived in Canada. Canada - not so much.

Don't get me wrong. I love Canada. And I love Montreal. But at the end of the day I am still closer to the worlds biggest ball of yarn than I am to places like Egypt or Greece. I have to work harder to share history with the kiddos because, well, Canada is still pretty young in that realm.

I'm pretty grateful that we moved to Montreal as I still stand by my feelings that Quebec is one of the most culturally and land rich provinces. It's beautiful. And Montreal is filled to the brim with museums which I adore. Though those museums are surrounded by busy streets and busy people and life is just different. And we still have little bits of our hearts and so many friends scattered throughout the world.

I suppose we had it simpler with our previous moves. We could travel a short distance to experience a different culture and a different language without our way of life needing to change too much. It also meant we could easily travel back to the other places we have lived. We had grown quite accustomed to European living which, in many ways, is so much simpler and enjoyable than North American living.

So why did we move? Because it was time for us to grow in a way that we couldn't there. And while we're still discovering the all the 'whys' of it all I think it's important for me to establish that there was a very firm 'why' that we followed and it was right for us. Because I need that anchor when I am trying to find the balance between empathizing with our kids about missing our old homes and reaffirming to them the greatness of our new home. And there are certainly times when those kids miss their old home.

It varies on what they miss. Most recently it's been our bright German home, Atticus' friend Evia from The Netherlands, and trips to the temple in the Hague. The funny thing is, Atticus picked now, of all times, to start liking to use German. I think it is all for the sake of reminiscing, but I am working to build it so he can keep at least a basic knowledge. At those reminiscing moments we do our best to let them express it, join in conversation with them, and make it a happy thing to discuss rather than a sad thing to discuss because it certainly doesn't need to be sad. We do have a lovely home and are making many lovely friends here yet I think it is natural to miss elements that aren't so large a part of our life anymore. And we need to help these kids figure out this star life of theirs (read the article to learn more about them).

They have so many different reference points, the best thing we are trying to do for them right now is anchor them in this family of ours with love, consistency and communication, work on adaptation and friendshipping skills, and let them explore and adapt on their terms and schedule.

It isn't an easy or quick process, but from time to time, when I catch a glimmer of all the polishing and refining that this change has wrought upon all of us (especially the kids) I feel joy. A deep, rich and filling joy. And it's then that I know that this is exactly where we are supposed to be. I am a triangle. Slightly out of place but in the right place to help these little stars of mine shine.