Every so often Easter and General Conference fall on the same weekend. I'm still processing whether I prefer it that way or not, but regardless, it is what it is. The weekend before Easter was our Easter concert at church. It went well. We had two numbers, one of which was an arrangement of How Great Thou Art that I fell in love with last year but another group had already planned on singing an arrangement of the song. So I made sure to reserve it this year. And I am so glad that I did. We had a lovely, talented, dedicated group of people with us. It was a pleasure. An absolute pleasure. Music is a healing balm in my life. I am so grateful for it.
We also were asked to do the congregational choral piece for the concert. It worked out well as just the week before I had had Jason listen to a piece that I thought would make a good choral piece. Unfortunately, it seems that my bad habit it also a bad habit of others and the fact that the piece wasn't easy from the get-go left some people feeling that it would be too hard. Yet, hard work prevailed. Jason usually took the men while I took the women and we practiced again and again and again. I am so grateful for all the dedicated people who showed up rehearsal after rehearsal. All the hard work really payed off and it sounded great. Jason conducted the final piece and then it was sung a second time in church on Sunday of that weekend as well.
On the weekend before Easter we also held a brunch for all the people that sang/played in our octet along with spouses and family. I never processed just how many people that would mean we would have in our apartment until Jason counted it out for me after I ensured that we invited everyone. And to be honest, I didn't really care. We would make it work. It felt like something we really needed to do. And the kids were excited beyond measure. And I was excited. As it was, not everyone was able to make it but we still had a great turn out and great conversation. Seeing that it was our Easter octet, we dubbed it our Easter brunch which meant I officially excused myself out of having people over for Easter. It was a great morning and I am so glad for everyone that was able to make it. They are good people.
Easter week was not quite as organized as I have had it in the past. We didn't do something everyday. But throughout the week, the kids and I did work on our easter countdown tree as we talked about different parts of The Living Christ. The largest focus of the week was just trying to help the kids understand their personal relationship with Christ. I know the events leading up to and surrounding the death and resurrection of Christ are an important part to understanding our relationship with Christ but when your kids are 5, 3, and 8 months I think there can be information overload and then nothing gets absorbed. Not to mention, our children are consistently learning about Christ throughout the year so I felt Easter should be seen as a renewal, enhancement and highlighting to the learning already in place this year.
Maybe I was too distracted by other things though. I did find myself wondering about midway through the week if I was doing enough and then when I listened to Milayla say her evening prayer she thanked Heavenly Father for Jesus (in her words) "because he was willing to come and die for EVERYone". There isn't a day that goes by that I don't pray that I will be able to do my best to help my children know Christ and have a personal faith and testimony of their own. The desire has to be theirs. I can help, guide, teach, lead, be an example but they have to walk their own road of faith. I am filled with gratitude that I get to be their mother and help them walk that road.
It is difficult to explain the complexities that I felt with this easter. I really do not know how I would begin to delve into thought processes, feelings, and emotions that I had leading up to this weekend. But I will say this, faith is a journey. I honestly think it would have been different if Easter had been on a separate weekend than conference. Yes, I know conference is all about learning about the gospel of Christ, but it's different somehow. I enjoy helping my kids learn the importance of Conference and the application of it. And I immensely enjoy helping my children learn the importance of Easter and the application of the lessons learned with it. Yet, having it all in one weekend seemed to detract from each other rather than bolster. It's a lot in one weekend. Maybe I just didn't approach it correctly. I will have to reassess if/when the situation arises again.
In any case, I felt very sure of the Easter events. The children came into the kitchen for scripture study and breakfast on Easter Sunday. We made resurrection rolls. Enjoyed frittata. We asked questions and explored answers. We made decorations for our Easter tree. The kids got to explore their baskets which were a book each, something new for dressy clothing, then stickers and a chocolate bunny for the bigger kids (and chocolate for Jason). I also made Atticus and Jason bowties. The kids love when I make them things (which is saying something because sewing/crafting isn't a particularly strong talent of mine) and Atticus was really hoping I would make him something -how could I let that down? Then we did the egg hunt. I had some chocolate eggs that I hid along with our resurrection eggs. I think as the kids get older the resurrection eggs will probably get a little predictable, but for now, they really seem to help the kids grasp some of the events surrounding Jesus' death and resurrection and to glean a bit more from it.
We stayed home for all the conference sessions this time around. Which is not the usual for us. I'm glad that we did though. I am so grateful for the prophet and apostles because it gives us a way to follow Christ and know Him better. I am continuously amazed and awed at how the Book of Mormon and the teachings of modern day prophets and apostles can enhance, broaden and strengthen our understanding of Jesus Christ. They really do testify of Him. The kids did a stellar job staying focused. Atticus did his first bout of note writing. Milayla did awesome at recognizing some of the speakers. I can tell that conference really is becoming a part of their souls. It served as an example to me about just how much children absorb at this young of an age and how we, as parents, set the tone for them. Ultimately, the choice will always be theirs, but I hope that as their mother I will be able to create an enriching, faith building environment in our home that will be a valuable foundation for all the years to come. I particularly enjoyed when all of us were snuggled on the cough together. Jason remarked that if we have any more children we may need to buy a bigger couch. I responded that we would just need to snuggle closer. I will enjoy these moments while I have them. And the kids were awesome sports and let me take some family photos at the end of the day.
Yet, most of all that I have already shared is logistical stuff. And while that stuff can help you feel the core of Easter it isn't, in and of itself, what Easter IS. And throughout Easter and the time leading up to it, I found myself asking myself what Easter is. Not just as an idea or even as an holiday, but what is it to me? WHY am I celebrating it? Why don't I just hop on the bunny wagon (pun intended) and forget the spiritual side of things? Let's be honest, that would be easier. Yet, I feel my soul urging me onward to teach my children and be an example to them about who Christ is for us. Who Christ can be for each of us.
So what then is Easter really? I don't think that answer will be the same for everyone. Our relationship with Christ is so personal and unique that I venture to say that each and every person will experience Easter in a different way that is special for their relationship and understanding of Christ. We've all walked different roads. Despite the difficult times that we have had in Montreal it isn't those times that have brought me closer to Christ in the past year - it's been the joyful times. In truth, I have had many a moment where it's all I can do to fall on my knees and plead for comfort and strength yet the greatest building of faith for me lately has been in the joyful moments when I have chosen to keep Christ nearer still.
There is a deeper joy found in life when we choose to journey with Christ not only on the downs but also on the ups of the journey. It certainly saves us having to call out for help when he is already there at our side. Not to mention the new way that we can know Christ in the process. I know my faith in Christ is yet so meager and I have a long way to go. Easter is a time for me to remember how far I have come, be even more grateful for Christ's forgiveness and peace that is continuously extended to me, and look forward to the journey ahead. I am so grateful to know Christ and to share my knowledge, however little that may be, with my children - especially during the Easter season.
I am so grateful for my family; for their sincere, loving hearts. Grateful for my Saviour and His love. And grateful for the beauty and love that emanates from His teachings. He lives. And for that I will be forever grateful.
Happy Easter.
