There are some that caution me to enjoy these kinds of things while they last because they won't last, but I can't help but send constant prayers up to heaven from my heart that the things we are doing today are forming the foundation for the relationship that I will have with my kids in the future. And that that relationship will have even greater love and depth holding it together. I know it is a relationship that will grow, change and evolve. But I hope the common threads of love and closeness will always be evident.
I love motherhood with all my heart. It fills me to the brim and then some. It is hard and tiring, of that I have no doubt but it is good, holy, and eternal.
I've recently become acquainted with a scene from a play that I am anxious to read. In the scene a woman, who has died in the childbirth of her second child, is given the chance to go back and relive one day from her life; she chooses her twelfth birthday. Amidst seeing her mother in the kitchen, freshly ironed dresses, clocks ticking, gifts waiting on the doorstep, and other familiar sights and smells of her childhood she throws her arms open and laments:
"Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anyone to realize you! Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it - ever, every minute?"
To which the stage manager replies, "No. The saints and poets, maybe - they do, some."
I read this first in an article on motherhood and enjoying life as holy. Yes, life is holy, but the stronger undercurrent that rang out to me was that motherhood is holy. The line rang through my heart and soul... "Oh, motherhood, you're too wonderful for anyone to realize you! Do any human beings ever realize motherhood while they live it - ever, every minute?" - "No. The saints and poets, maybe - they do, some."
Am I realizing motherhood? Am I soaking in it's sweetness that fills every fleeting moment?
What seems like many years ago now, there was a talk given by Sister Julie B Beck, the general president (at the time) of The Relief Society organization (the women's organization in our church). As I read it this past week leading up to Mother's Day I found so much inspiration for where I am at in motherhood right now. I had this line stand out to me:
"the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection...There is eternal influence and power in motherhood"
I've always known that motherhood is an eternal calling, but for some reason it struck me even deeper in the last couple weeks. It felt as though my depth of understanding was broadening just a little wider as I glimpsed a little more of the holiness of motherhood. When I take time to really see motherhood from the larger perspective of eternity (as best as my ability and knowledge is capable of) I can feel my love for my children and for motherhood grow exponentially. I know I am still a rookie in the journey of motherhood but I am grateful for the positive growth that I have felt.
In my realizing of motherhood, it cannot be helped that I also realize my partnership with God in this journey. My journey in motherhood is undoubtedly and unchangeably connected with God. And for that I am very grateful.
I remember learning early on that the most important attribute I can develop as a mother is my ability to listen to and follow personal revelation from the Holy Ghost; for me, my family, and my children. I am reminded of this importance often as I work to improve my ability to do so each and every day. There have been many times where I am grateful for the relationship that I have developed and strengthened with the Holy Ghost and personal revelation. There have also, unfortunately, been times when I have realized that I have so much more strengthening of that relationship to do.
Also in my realizing I have been humbled by the power of prayer. It is incredible. It lifts and strengthens me and guides me through my days. It helps me open my eyes and heart even more to my children than I could have otherwise. It helps me stay focused on the important bits and not get caught up in the craziness of the day.
And at the source of this realizing is what I have come to know as the best parenting book out there - the holy scriptures. I have read plenty of parenting books, and I have certainly gleaned valuable information from most of them, but none can compare to the word of God. It just cannot happen.
And all of this realizing helps fill me with renewed strength for the role that I love so deeply. And I know that while I have come so far and grown so much in my journey and appreciation of motherhood I know I still have a long way to go as my realizing of motherhood deepens and broadens.
I am so grateful for this journey. For motherhood. For the examples of righteous motherhood around me. For my children that I get to love and mother and for their love that they pour out so freely. And so thankful. So very thankful for the source of eternal blessings and guidance as I love and embrace the growth and blessing of motherhood. It's an incredible journey. And I love it.
Thank you to my children for your love and generous hearts. I feel honored to be mother to each of you. And to Jason, thank you for helping these creative, excited and kind children of ours realize their hopes for celebrating Mother's Day. The day was spectacular. With a delicious menu for the day, flowers picked out just for me (both from the store and the ground :) ), plenty of awesome picture outtakes (the first one, with the signs of daily life surrounding us and an array of expressions, is one of my favorites), cuddles at church during conference, reading books in bed, lemon meringue pie, and so many beautiful cards filled with stickers upon stickers, hearts and well thought out words for the sole purpose of expressing love (that now, thanks to the creative suggestion of Milayla, decorate a wall in our bedroom perfectly). The children were so excited for Mother's Day, they could hardly sleep. And when morning came early to the knock of Milayla at my door wanting to know if it was Mother's Day yet, it was my absolute pleasure to give her early morning cuddles. I am so grateful for the beauty and love that surrounds me.
And to all the mothers out there (including those that raised Jason and me - and the women who mothered them) - thank you for setting an example of righteous motherhood. It is an honor to walk the path that you have already labored to make smoother for those who come after.
Happy Mother's Day.
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the pictures aren't in the order of the day, but that's all right. I am so grateful for these smiling faces and how much love I feel from them.
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